Just a joke for a gloomy day

Just a joke for a gloomy day

Tuesday, 20 December 2011 18:15

Mr Tony arriving in a hotel in KL Sentral he went to the bar and asked for a pint of draught Guinness. The barman nodded and said, "That will be one Ringgit please, Uncle Tony."

Somewhat taken aback, Uncle Tony replied, "That's very cheap," and handed over his money.

... "Well, we try to stay ahead of the competition", said the barman. "And we are serving free pints every Wednesday evening from 6 until 8. We have the cheapest draught in Asia"

"That is remarkable value" Uncle Tony comments

"I see you don't seem to have a glass, so you'll probably need one of ours. That will be 3 Ringgit please."

Uncle Tony scowled, but paid up. He took his drink and walked towards a seat. "Ah, you want to sit down?" said the barman. "That'll be an extra 2 Ringgit You could have pre-book the seat, and it would have only cost you a Ringgit"

"I think you may to be too big for the seat sir, can I ask you to sit in this frame please"

Uncle Tony attempts to sit down but the frame is too small and when he can't squeeze in he complains "Nobody would fit in that little frame".

"I'm afraid if you can't fit in the frame you'll have to pay an extra surcharge of RM 4

For your seat sir"

Tony swore to himself, but paid up. "I see that you have brought your laptop with you" added the barman. "And since that wasn't pre-booked either, that will be another 3 Ringgit"

Uncle Tony was so annoyed that he walked back to the bar, slammed his drink on the counter, and yelled, "This is ridiculous, I want to speak to the manager".

"Ah, I see you want to use the counter," says the barman, "that will be 2 Ringgit please." Uncle's face was red with rage.

"Do you know who I am?"

"Of course I do Mr Fernandes."

"I've had enough, What sort of Hotel is this? I come in for a quiet drink and you treat me like this. I insist on speaking to a manager!"

"Here is his E mail address, or if you wish, you can contact him between 9 and 9.10 every morning, Monday to Tuesday at this free phone number. Calls are free, until they are answered, then there is a talking charge of only 10 sen per second provided you use Tune Talk using other mobile carriers would incur our normal charges of 30 Sen per second."

"I will never use this bar again"

"OK Uncle , but remember, we are the only bar in Asia selling pints for one Ringgit...so that Now Everyone Can Drink"

(image: Mas plane. MAS has nothing to do with this joke) 

Adpted from Friend of Star

New notes and minted coins

RENUNGAN KALBU

Yang kurik itu KUNDI

Yang merah itu SAGA

Yang baik itu BUDI

Yang indah itu BAHASA

Yang diikat itu JANJI

Yang dilinas itu KERJA

Yang dilihat ialah DIRI

Yang dicermin; HATI

Yang digalas; SETIA

Yang dikenang; BAKTI

Yang  dibalas; JASA

Kalau tidak mampu MEMUJI jangan MENGEJI

Kalau tidak mampu MENYUMBANG jangan MENUMBANG

Kalau tidak mampu BERUBAH jangan MENYANGGAH

Dulu sawah kini belukar

Tempat bujuk beranak pinak

Diajar  susah  dididik sukar

Kalau dipujuk harimau pun jinak

RENUNGAN

1.  Ambillah waktu untuk berfikir, itu adalah sumber kekuatan.
2.  Ambillah waktu untuk bermain, itu adalah rahsia dari masa muda yang abadi.
3.  Ambillah waktu untuk berdoa, itu adalah sumber ketenangan.
4.  Ambillah waktu untuk belajar, itu adalah sumber kebijaksanaan.
5.  Ambillah waktu untuk mencintai dan dicintai, itu adalah hak istimewa yang diberikan Tuhan.
6.  Ambillah waktu untuk bersahabat, itu adalah jalan menuju kebahagiaan.
7.  Ambillah waktu untuk tertawa, itu adalah musik yang menggetarkan hati.
8.  Ambillah waktu untuk memberi, itu adalah membuat hidup terasa bererti.
9.  Ambillah waktu untuk bekerja, itu adalah nilai keberhasilan.
10.Ambillah waktu untuk beramal, itu adalah kunci menuju syurga

Three cheers for the Hostile Games

THE STAR SAYS

THE SEA Games are supposed to be all about regional solidarity and friendship, nurturing goodwill through sports.
But those worthy principles were for, and from, another era - an era when there was greater trust among nations and men, a greater sense of honour and integrity.
All that has changed; with progress has come distrust and deceit, hypocrisy and bigotry.
Sportsmanship and fair play have no chance when politicians, governments, sports bodies and officials speak not what they mean. Case in point: the 26th SEA Games in Indonesia.
The jingoism that has dominated the proceedings has made the event one of the most distasteful of the series, a nasty deviation from the ideals of the SEAP Games to foster closer ties and understanding among neighbours.
When Thailand hosted the first SEAP Games in December 1959, it truly was a Goodwill Games, one that saw athletes from Burma (now Myanmar), Cambodia, Laos, Malaya, Thailand and Vietnam engaging in honest competition without spite or acrimony.
The Games grew in size and stature with the addition of Indonesia, Singapore, the Philippines, Brunei and later Timor Leste.
In 1977, the SEAP Games evolved into the SEA Games. The competition became more keen but remained largely true to the tenets of sports - of fair play and honesty.
But then, as these mostly newly-independent nations grew, so did their misguided sense of nationalism and pride.
These then became the overriding essence of the Games - one-upmanship, brinkmanship, bragging rights and humbling thy neighbour.
National pride began to overshadow and erode the sporting values of the Games. It is now all about who can win the most medals, never mind if it means cheating or shifting the goal post to steal an advantage.
These Games have bloated to 43 sports, most of them favouring Indonesia, offering a massive 542 gold medals. That's fine if the competition was fair and true. But what we have seen here, in Jakarta especially, is proof that the Games have grown out of control, driven by political, rather than sporting, agendas.
It's about winning at all costs so that politicians and officials can gloat and ride the popular wave of triumphalism.
It's about size and numbers, upstaging others rather than honest success.
We can understand patriotism but not insane ultranationalism and aggressive demonstration of parochialism.
How else can one explain the naked hatred Indonesian fans have for Malaysian athletes in particular? Their disregard for their foreign guests is disconcerting.
Malaysia and Indonesia have a long history of antagonism which has seen some major boil-overs, especially in Jakarta, in previous encounters like the Thomas Cup badminton finals and the Suzuki Cup football tournament.
The fans have jeered every single Malaysian athlete and the boos get louder if it's an Indonesian on the opposing end. That is to be expected, but there is a distinctly vicious edge to the jeers directed at the Malaysians.
Being patriotic is noble, but being disrespectful to other countries is simply appalling.
Little wonder that they are calling these the Hostile Games.

Anwar to be PM, even from jail

The Star: Tuesday November 8, 2011

GEORGE TOWN: Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim will be Prime Minister if Pakatan Rakyat forms the next government, says DAP secretary-general Lim Guan Eng.
Lim said this in response to MCA president Datuk Seri Dr Chua Soi Lek’s question of who is going to be Prime Minister should Pakatan Rakyat win the general election.
“The answer is obvious. It is very clear that it will be Anwar as decided by all three parties,” Lim said after presenting RM100,000 to the Kong Hock Keong board of trustees chairman Datuk Lam Wu Chong for the restoration of the Goddess of Mercy temple on Jalan Masjid Kapitan Keling.
When asked what would happen if Anwar were to be jailed, Lim said he would still be Prime Minister, citing Turkey as an example.
“Turkish Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdogan couldn’t contest because he was in jail.
“But when they won, they allowed him to contest and he became Prime Minister,” said Lim, who is also Penang chief minister.

Sembelih unta disebut dalam al-Quran

Oleh SITI AINIZA KAMSARI (dari paper Utusan 4/11/2011)
Gambar HAYAT SUEET

Unta sukar dibawa masuk hidup-hidup untuk dijadikan haiwan korban kerana kesukaran mendapat dek yang sesuai untuk haiwan itu di dalam kapal.

---

AYAT di atas jelas menunjukkan bahawa unta atau 'jamal' dalam bahasa Arab adalah antara haiwan yang disebut dalam al-Quran.
Malah dituntut untuk menyembelih unta bagi memenuhi ibadat korban pada hari raya Aidiladha.
"Daging unta pula merupakan sunnah Rasulullah, baginda sangat suka makan daging unta," kata Md. Daud.
Namun disebabkan haiwan itu hanya sesuai hidup di gurun padang pasir, maka ia bukan haiwan pilihan dalam melaksanakan ibadat korban oleh umat Islam di negara ini.
Di Malaysia kerbau, lembu dan kambing merupakan antara haiwan yang sering disembelih untuk tujuan korban.
Apa pun, unta sebagaimana mengorbankan lembu atau kerbau boleh dikongsi tujuh orang atau tujuh bahagian.
Malah ia antara haiwan yang sangat digalakkan untuk tujuan korban.
Berkenaan dengan soal pembahagian dan sedekah daging unta kepada golongan fakir dan miskin juga sama sama sebagaimana kita menyembelih lembu atau kerbau.
Kecuali syarat utama untuk sembelih unta bagi tujuan korban hendaklah pilih unta yang gugur gigi hadapannya.
Ia menandakan haiwan itu telah cukup umur iaitu lima tahun atau masuk tahun keenam.
Selain itu disebabkan leher yang agak panjang, unta disembelih di pangkal leher berhampiran dada dengan memotong halkum dan urat marih.
Walaupun terdapat usaha Barat yang menentang ibadat korban dalam Islam atas pelbagai tuduhan termasuk menyeksa haiwan dan sebagainya, tetapi Md. Daud berharap di saat jemaah di Mekah mengerjakan haji, umat Islam yang lain di seluruh dunia pula mengerjakan ibadat korban.
"Sebabnya, pahala dan ganjaran melakukan korban ini sebagaimana mengalirnya darah dari haiwan yang dikorbankan itu, mengalir tanpa henti untuk kembali ganjaran itu kepada mereka yang melakukan korban itu," jelasnya.
Ia dijelaskan sebagaimana firman Allah yang bermaksud: Daging dan darah binatang korban atau hadiah itu tidak sekali-kali akan sampai kepada Allah, tetapi yang sampai kepada-Nya adalah amal yang ikhlas yang berdasarkan taqwa dari kamu. Demikianlah Ia memudahkan binatang-binatang itu bagi kamu supaya kamu membesarkan Allah kerana mendapat nikmat petunjuk-Nya. Dan sampaikanlah berita gembira (dengan balasan yang sebaik-baiknya) kepada orang-orang yang berusaha supaya baik amalnya. (al-Hajj: 37)
Walaupun di Malaysia unta bukannya haiwan ternakan tetapi kebelakangan ini, ia turut menjadi pilihan kepada umat Islam di negara ini menjadikannya sebagai haiwan korban.
Ini menjadikan satu pemandangan yang cukup unik kerana unta bukanlah haiwan yang dipelihara atau dibela di negara ini.
Malah sebelum ini pun tidak ada mana-mana pihak yang melakukan promosi daging unta.
Tidak ada siapa tahu mengenai khasiat dan keenakan dagingnya. Jadi memakan daging unta agak asing kepada masyarakat negara ini.
Namun, apabila ia mula diperkenalkan untuk tujuan korban, masyarakat Islam mula tertarik dan berlumba-lumba membeli dan mengorbankan unta. Pastinya, yang mendapat manfaat daripadanya adalah golongan fakir miskin.
Sebabnya, mereka dapat menikmati daging unta yang merupakan daging yang paling mahal berbanding kambing, lembu dan kerbau.
Di negara ini, Masjid Al Azhariah di Seksyen 18, Shah Alam, Selangor merupakan masjid yang mula-mula membawa masuk unta untuk tujuan ibadat korban pada tahun 2006.
Ia kemudiannya dicontohi oleh masjid dan surau di seluruh negara apabila majlis penyembelihan korban semakin meriah dengan unta-unta untuk dikorbankan.
Di samping itu, wujud banyak syarikat bumiputera lain untuk membawa masuk unta dari Australia apabila permintaan terhadap unta semakin meningkat.

SELAMAT MENYAMBUT RAMADHAN AL-MUBARAQ 1432H

Enam cara capai kesempurnaan Ramadan
IMAM Al-Ghazali dalam kitabnya Ihya Ulumuddin menghuraikan enam cara mencapai kesempurnaan puasa di kalangan orang beriman dan bertaqwa, iaitu:
1.	Menahan pandangan daripada segala kecelaan termasuk melakukan perkara makruh serta mengelak daripada kelalaian mengingati dan mengerjakan suruhan Allah.
2.	Menjaga lidah daripada bercakap sesuatu yang sia-sia seperti berdusta, mengumpat dan mencarut, sebaliknya memperbanyakkan zikir dan membaca al-Quran.
3.	Menjaga pendengaran daripada mendengar kata-kata tidak baik kerana setiap yang haram diucapkan haram juga mendengarnya. Satu hadis Rasulullah saw menjelaskan yang mengumpat dan yang mendengar turut terikat dalam dosa.
4.	Mencegah anggota tubuh lain seperti kaki dan tangan melakukan maksiat dan perkara mungkar selain mengelak memakan makanan subahat dan haram.
5.	Tidak berlebih-lebihan menikmati makanan ketika berbuka kerana tindakan itu mengurangkan hikmah puasa.
6.	Membersihkan hati dan meminta keredaan Allah agar puasa kita diterima dan mutu puasa dapat ditingkatkan lagi.
Mengenai sedekah, Rasulullah saw bersabda, maksudnya: "Sedekah yang paling utama adalah sedekah pada bulan Ramadan." Setiap umat Islam harus berlumba-lumba untuk melakukan kebajikan pada bulan Ramadan. Ini kerana balasan di atas setiap satu kebajikan itu adalah amat besar di sisi Allah pada hari akhirat kelak. Bersedekah bukan hanya memberikan wang, malah termasuk mengajak berbuka puasa kepada fakir miskin dan orang berpuasa. Amalan bersedekah perlu ikhlas, bukan untuk menunjuk-nunjuk. Dengan bersedekah seseorang itu dapat menghakis sifat kedekut di samping mengeratkan ikatan kemesraan dalam masyarakat tanpa mengira taraf dan kedudukan. Daripada Zaid bin Khalid al-Juhanniyy ra bahawa Rasulullah saw ada bersabda, bermaksud: “Barang siapa memberi makan kepada orang yang berpuasa, dia akan beroleh ganjaran seperti orang yang diberi makan itu tanpa sedikit pun kekurangan daripada pahala orang yang berpuasa itu." – Hadis riwayat Al-Tarmizi.

SKPTM on TV3

It has been choatic week and ends up with this..

Juara 8 kali

From NT to Bt Musang Jetty

34.4 km ride
and a tedious hike too

LE TOUR DE BATU KAWAN

A 40.7 km trip one sunday morning....
What a day after 2 plates of Bihun Goreng...
Looking forward next Sunday.... Batu Musang ...

Along Sungai Udang river bank... serenity is the word.

At Jeti Kuala Changkat

Taking a rest along the highway...

looks like a middle of nowhere

The Icon of Batu Kawan

SOON TO BE...

during the day.....

... and illuminate at night..


an artist impression ... the holy mosque and the world's biggest clock.. in months to come..

JAM TERBESAR DI DUNIA.....

world's biggest clock begins ticking





the four faced clock, atop the abraj al bait towers in mecca, saudi arabia



a giant clock in the muslim holy city of mecca began ticking last wednesday on the first day
of the fasting month of ramadan in saudi arabia. the four-faced clock project will be fully
operational after a three-month trial period.

the royal clock, designed by german premiere composite technologies company, sits atop
a skyscraper just 50 meters away from the grand mosque in the city. the clock was designed
to be the world's largest - six times larger than london's big ben.


the 577-meter mecca clock royal tower also features a lunar observation center and an islamic
museum. situated in the heart of the massive abraj al-bait complex comprising hotels, shopping
malls and conference centers - the clock will run on arabian standard time, three hours ahead
of the universal GMT ( standard. each of the clock's four faces are 151 feet in diameter and will
be illuminated by 2 million LED lights, along with huge arabic script reading: 'in the name of allah.'
another 21,000 white and green colored lights, fitted at the top of the clock, will flash to as far as
19 miles to signal islam's five-times daily prayers. read more



construction of the clock - the diameter of the dial is around 40 meters
photo AFP



photo AFP
initial rendering of the the abraj al bait towers in mecca with the giant clock



the height of the tower in comparison to the rest of the world's towers

Concessionaire: Second bridge will be completed by November 2013

This can be seen from far...
The second Penang Bridge is 47.55% completed as of March.

The project is however 2.85% behind the 50.4% scheduled progress.

State Public Works, Utilities and Transportation Committee chairman Lim Hock Seng said concession holder Jambatan Kedua Sdn Bhd (JKSB) had assured the state government that it would catch up with the scheduled completion of the 24km bridge slated for November 2013.

Construction works on the bridge started in late November 2008.

Lim also said over 700 workers were working round the clock at the United Engineers Malaysia (UEM) segmental box girder plant in Batu Kawan to produce 8,092 units of segmental box girders for the bridge.

“They have already moulded 987 units. A total of 28 units are already fixed on-site out in the sea with 14 of them on each side of the bridge.

“Besides that, piling works are 84% completed while the building of pile caps and columns are 55% and 45% completed respectively,” he said during a visit to the plant yesterday.

Lim added that the two toll plaza buildings, to be located in Batu Kawan, were still on the design board.

“We will also implement a green concept for the package to be environmental friendly,” he added.

Buildcast Sdn Bhd (a wholly-owned subsidiary of UEM Builders Bhd) production manager Anuar Abdul said there were 22 moulds and three factories at the segment casting plant.

“Between 12 and 14 pieces of segmental box girders are produced in a day and the process is a tedious one,” he said.

The RM4.5bil second bridge project comprises three main packages — construction of the sub-structure by CHEC Construction Sdn Bhd (the local arm of China Harbour Engineering Co Ltd), casting of the segmental box girder by UEM Builders Bhd, and construction of the Batu Kawan and Batu Maung exit and entry points and trumpet interchange by Cergas Murni, IJM Construction and HRA Teguh.

The bridge, which will link Batu Kawan in Seberang Prai to Batu Maung on Penang island, is poised to be the longest bridge in the country and Southeast Asia.

Facebook is the new cause of divorce

The number of divorces occurring because of Facebook and other social networking sites has been on the rise since these sites have become increasingly popular, research claims. These sites are being utilized more and more by unhappy individuals to seek out and have an affair and cheat on their partner.

Facebook is being cited in almost one in five of online divorce petitions, lawyers have claimed.

People will post just about anything on social networking sites. And the information can be used against them. David Randall and Victoria Richards report.

In the judicial backwater of a New Jersey federal court, a case is being heard that nominally affects two families but should also make millions of Britons think twice about something they do every day: put highly personal information on Facebook, MySpace or Bebo.

The social networking site, which connects old friends and allows users to make new ones online, is being blamed for an increasing number of marital breakdowns.

Divorce lawyers claim the explosion in the popularity of websites such as Facebook and Bebo is tempting to people to cheat on their partners. Suspicious spouses have also used the websites to find evidence of flirting and even affairs which have led to divorce.

One law firm, which specialises in divorce, claimed almost one in five petitions they processed cited Facebook.

Mark Keenan, Managing Director of Divorce-Online said: “I had heard from my staff that there were a lot of people saying they had found out things about their partners on Facebook and I decided to see how prevalent it was I was really surprised to see 20 per cent of all the petitions containing references to Facebook.

“The most common reason seemed to be people having inappropriate sexual chats with people they were not supposed to.”

An American insurance company, in defending its refusal to pay out a claim, is seeking to call in evidence personal online postings, including the contents of any MySpace or Facebook pages the litigants may have, to see if their eating disorders might have “emotional causes”. And the case is far from a lone one. Suddenly, those saucy pictures and intimate confessions on social networking sites can be taken down and used in evidence against you in ways never dreamed of.

Flirty emails and messages found on Facebook pages are increasingly being cited as evidence of unreasonable behaviour. Computer firms have even cashed in by developing software allowing suspicious spouses to electronically spy on someone’s online activities.

One 35-year-old woman even discovered her husband was divorcing her via Facebook. Conference organiser Emma Brady was distraught to read that her marriage was over when he updated his status on the site to read: “Neil Brady has ended his marriage to Emma Brady.”

Last year a 28-year-old woman ended her marriage after discovering her husband had been having a virtual affair with someone in cyberspace he had never met. Amy Taylor 28, split from David Pollard after discovering he was sleeping with an escort in the game Second Life, a virtual world where people reinvent themselves.

Around 14 million Britons are believed to regularly use social networking sites to communicate with old friends or make new ones. The popularity of the Friends Reunited website several years ago was also blamed for a surge in divorces as bored husbands and wives used it to contact old flames and first loves.

The UK’s divorce rate has fallen in recent years, but two in five marriages are still failing according the latest statistics. Mr Keenan believes that the general divorce rate will rocket in 2010 with the recession taking the blame.

In the US, a sex assault victim seeking compensation faces the prospect of her MySpace and Facebook pages being produced in court. In Texas, a driver whose car was involved in a fatal accident found his MySpace postings (“I’m not an alcoholic, I’m a drunkaholic”) part of the prosecution’s case.

From Los Angeles to Lowestoft, thousands of social network site users have lost their jobs – or failed to clinch new ones – because of their pages’ contents. Police, colleges and schools are monitoring MySpace and Facebook pages for what they deem to be “inappropriate” content. Online security holes and users’ naivety are combining to cause privacy breaches and identity thefts. And what all this, and more, adds up to is this: online social networking can seriously damage your life.

Sources: Telegraph, The Independent.

Originally Posted: http://thetechjournal.com/internet/facebook-is-the-new-cause-of-divorce.xhtml#ixzz1I0YzU0sX

Beware! Facebook can break up your marriage!

14 05 2009

Oh, the things people say…

An Oklahoma news station has a recent story about how online social networking sites (case in point: Facebook) can be “hazardous to marriages”:

“We see about 40 percent of the couples coming in, there is a link to Facebook or to MySpace that has caused a breach in their marriage,” said licensed marriage and family therapist Tara Fritsch.

So, out of all possible other reasons why a marriage would fall apart, Facebook or MySpace seem to be a primary culprit. How so?


Read on..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, with many happy returns of the day..