An ear for words By LYDIA TEH

Extracted from TheStar 13th August 2008


EH Poh Nim was in the auditorium of the Dewan Filharmonik Petronas with Jane to attend a performance by the Malaysian Philharmonic Orchestra. They had taken their seats and were watching people file in.

“This is my first time here,” Jane whispered excitedly. “I hope I don’t fall asleep.”

“Today’s repertoire is easy on the ear. The music will be pleasant to listen to.”

“Mmm ? that’s what I’m afraid of. Pinch me if I doze off, okay?” Jane said.

The concert began on time. Ten minutes into it, a young man in front of them started whispering loudly to his companion.

“Ssshhhh!” The neighbours shushed him up. He fell silent. Five minutes later, he piped up again.

Eh Poh Nim leaned forward and tapped him on the shoulder. He turned around. “Excuse me,” she said, “we’d like to listen to the music without any noise pollution, please. Do you mind?”

The young man shut his mouth.

“I think he has nothing between his ears,” Eh Poh Nim whispered into Jane’s ears.

“You mean he’s stupid?” Jane asked a tad louder than she had intended.

The young man turned back and glared at them.

Peace reigned till intermission. Then the young man approached Eh Poh Nim. “I’d like a word with you,” he said.

“I’m all ears,” Eh Poh Nim said.

“You’d better listen carefully because I’m going to say this once. Bitch!” Then he raised his hand to hit her.

Eh Poh Nim’s reflex was fast. She managed to duck out of the way. Jane screamed and dragged her away from the man as his companion tried to restrain him.

“Stop it, Mark, or you’ll get a thick ear!” the older woman scolded. “Now sit down!”

He complied.

Eh Poh Nim and Jane escaped to the foyer. “Are you all right?” Jane asked. “I can’t believe there are such uncivilised people in a place like this.”

“Hmmmm ? this is supposed to be a place of refined culture, right? It’s a good thing I was able to dodge him. Somehow, I had a hunch he was going to hit me. That guy has spoilt my mood for the concert. Shall we go?”

“I don’t mind. This sort of thing is not really my cup of tea, anyway,” Jane said, heading towards the staircase.

“You’ve got a tin ear, do you?”

“What’s that?”

“Someone who has a tin ear can’t appreciate music,” Eh Poh Nim explained.

“That young man who tried to hit you, what’s his name – Mark? He’s the one with the tin ear. I wonder if that was his girlfriend. She’s much older than him, and did you see how he obeyed her immediately when she ordered him to sit?”

“She could be his sister. I see some resemblance between them. On hindsight, I should’ve turned a deaf ear to him. If I’d ignored him, others would have shut him up soon enough. I should’ve known better. He looks like he’s wet behind the ears.”

“Really? Did he put so much hair gel that it dripped down his ears?” Jane asked.

Eh Poh Nim chuckled. “That’s an expression for being young and inexperienced. Mark’s ears must be burning, the way we’re talking about him.”

“Okay, what should we do now?” Jane asked.

“We’ll play it by ear. But first, let’s go grab a bite.” Eh Poh Nim led the way to the mall food court.

“I didn’t know you could play the piano,” Jane said.

“I don’t. Oh, you thought I could play the piano by ear? When I said we’ll play it by ear, I meant we don’t have a plan of action and we’ll decide what to do as things happen. The other meaning of the phrase is being able to play a song according to how it sounds, rather than from a written score. Do you play the piano?”

“No. But John does. His mother forced him to take lessons when he was a kid.”

“Your husband plays the piano? I can’t believe my ears.”

“When we were courting, I was very surprised when he told me he could play the piano. I thought he was pulling my leg until he brought me to his house and played ‘Love Is A Many Splendoured Thing’. It sounded like music to my ears.”

“Er, Jane. You didn’t use that expression correctly. Something that sounds like music to your ears is not literally music but something that’s pleasing to hear about. For example, if I hear that the security guards have ejected that angry young man for causing a ruckus at the concert, now that would be music to my ears!”


Lydia Teh is the author of Life’s Like That – Scenes from Malaysian Life and Honk! If You’re Malaysian, the most popular local non-fiction book in The Star-Popular Readers’ Choice Awards 2008.